


Trust

by Celtichuntress76



Category: Dragon Age: Origins, Dragon Age: Origins - Awakening
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Attempted Murder, Childhood Friends, Childhood Sweethearts, F/M, Mistaken Identity, Past Child Abuse
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-29
Updated: 2017-03-18
Packaged: 2018-09-07 06:17:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 3,933
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8786806
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Celtichuntress76/pseuds/Celtichuntress76
Summary: Story of Brinna Cousland and Nathaniel Howe, who were childhood friends





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Dragon Age Origins is by far one of my favorite games. I own nothing, and I know I will get some of the lore wrong. I hope you enjoy anyway :-) This is a work in progress, I will add more as I have time. Please feel free to comment and tell me what you think!

9:09 Dragon, forest outside of Highever castle

Brinna Cousland hid in the branches of a tree, one hand held tightly over her mouth. She wanted to cry out but Nate was looking right at her, and she knew he wanted her to be quiet. He had told her to hide here, to be silent no matter what. She could hear Arl Howe's angry voice as it echoed below. " How many times have I told you boy, over and over, that you are to listen and obey. I told you to stay with the horses and hounds.. yet here you are, and my hound? My prize mabari bitch has mated with a village dog of no blood!! " Nathaniel said nothing, only stared at Brinna, silently begging her with his eyes to remain silent. While his father was a horrible man, he would gladly take any punishment to prevent her from harm. If her Father knew she was rough housing in the forest with him he would beat her. She was to be a lady, a fine lady, but she was also to rule Highever one day. It was already known. Her brother Fergus, while strong and quick was not as bright, he would command the armies of Highever one day, while his sister ruled the lands.Rendon Howe removed his leather belt, and turned to Nathaniel. "Take your shirt off boy"

Brinna watched in horror as Nate started unbuttoning his shirt. This whole thing was her fault! She had begged Nate to come to the forest with her to look for Elves. She had heard them singing from her windows late in the night and wanted to see them, the Dalish. She had been fascinated with them since her teacher had told her about them. Nate was supposed to be watching the dogs for his father, but after she threatened to go into the forest alone he had abandoned his post. Walking along side her, dagger in hand to "protect her". He was only a few years her senior but he always seemed older, more serious and so protective. He was her best friend in the whole world.She wanted to call out, tell Arl Howe it was all her fault but Nate was still looking at her and when she moved her hand from her mouth he shook his head "no" quickly. She watched as he sank to his knees, and his father drew back the belt. Her heart was pounding boom, boom in her ears and she didn't even hear the sound as the leather hit his skin.All she could hear was her heart. He blinked at her twice. He wanted her to close her eyes but she shook her head no. Tears streaming down her face. She would watch, that would be her punishment. They would suffer together.

9:16 Dragon Highever Castle

" I am telling you Nate I will not be paraded around like a Mabari to be bred to some royal fool!!!" Brinna stomped across her chamber, the elaborate dress she was wearing, swishing around her legs. Nate sat on her windowsill, whittling a piece of wood. " I am only 15, I don't want to be married, or even think about it. I want to train with my bow, and daggers... maybe I will run away and join the Dalish.." Nate smiled, she threatened to run away to the Dalish at least once a month, or at least every time they saw one another, but this time she seemed serious. He laid the wood aside, a partially formed wooden mabari. and motioned for her to sit. She did with a sigh.She leaned against him, and he patted the top of her head. "I mean it Nate, mother is on my side I think, but father? He is serious. He wants a rich, weak son in law. Pliable he said... then they make me dress like this and do up my hair." She reached up and pulled at the elaborate mass of braids, pulling them loose. He saw her eyes change and knew trouble was coming. " Nate when you tell me that you would do anything for me , do you mean it? No matter what trouble this would lead to he knew he couldn't tell her no. That was their way. He nodded yes. She took a deep breath then turned her back to him "Cut my hair"

Nate' mouth dropped open in shock, a lady's hair was was a mark of nobility and beauty. His own sister rubbed strange tonics in her scalp daily trying to get hers to be near as thick and long as Brinna's was naturally. Her parents would be beyond mad if she cut her hair. " Brin I really think you should reconsider, I know you're angry but this is serious." She looked at him and smiled, and he knew she wouldn't back down. This was the reason her father wanted her to rule, she was steadfast, unrelenting.She pulled the edge of the silk dress up to her thigh, causing him to blush and handed him the dagger she had hidden there. Then she simply turned and waited. He took a deep breath and stepped behind her, taking a group of braids in his hands. The strands were silky he noted, and again felt a flush across his face, what were these strange feelings flaring in his gut? This was Brinna, his dearest friend. He took the dagger, and moved it through the thick braids easily. Before she could turn he pocketed a braid. She moved to the mirror and he heard her take a shuddering breath. But she didn't cry. Instead she ran her fingers through the braids,leaving a mass of shoulder length waves that somehow showed off her face and eyes even more. Maker, he thought, his friend was beautiful!


	2. Chapter 2

Of course that was when her parents came to the room, and he saw the looks on their faces. Anger and shock...disbelief. It was her mother who spoke. " Brinna Eleanor Cousland! What in the Maker's name have you done?" she moved to her daughter and turned her back and forth looking at her hair. Bryce merely stood, leaning against the doorway. Nate saw a glint in the mans eyes and suddenly wondered if he had misjudged him, he looked amused. Eleanor Cousland continued " And just what man would marry you now? Looking the way you do?"

Nate was looking right at Brinna, and she surprised him him by winking. It was one of their signals. She was telling him everything was ok. Nate spoke without even thinking " I would....marry her I mean.." his entire face was burning now,red and hot as a blaze but he continued looking at his friend and when she blushed and looked at her feet he continued "In a heartbeat" he didn't see the look that Bryce and Eleanor shared because he dropped his gaze, having used up all his courage in that moment. He was 17, most young men had already laid with a woman, something his own father teased him about, but these feelings were new to him, especially since Brinna was causing them. He cleared his throat and spoke quietly " I best be getting to the stable, father said we will be leaving upon the hour. Lord and Lady Cousland, Brinna" He nodded deeply to them all then hurried from the room leaving Brinna with her parents.As he rode alongside his father towards home he felt the braid hidden in his pocket, and smiled.

Eleanor leaned against her husbands broad chest. No matter how long they had been together their lovemaking never bored her. He was a strong and beautiful man. He ran his hands through her long hair, now touched slightly with grey. She sighed, she had waited till now, till after their lovemaking to speak. " Did you see the look on Nathaniel Howe's face? He is in love with her Bryce. How did we miss it?"She rolled onto her mass of pillows, gathering the sheet to her bosom. Bryce sighed and stretched out, and she continued " It was plain as day upon his face, all this time I have allowed them to be alone together, thinking they were merely friends..."

" Because they are merely friends Eleanor, stop fretting! The boy has honor, and he cares as much for Brinna as we do, he would never dishonor her.... it would seem that his feelings have deepened. But this could be the Maker's blessing." Eleanor looked at her husband in surprise, he was very calm, if not happy about this. " Just think my dear! Our daughter and the eldest of the Howe children? Who could have picked a stronger union? Not to mention the lands she would control! Our daughter would be one of the most powerful, wealthy women in Ferelden!" Bryce's eyes were bright with happiness and Eleanor realized he was right, except for one thing...Howe himself. She knew that Bryce trusted Rendon but her women's intuition told her otherwise. She felt chilled of late when the man looked at her. " I will send a missive to Rendon immediately, seeking to arrange the match" Bryce rose and threw on his breeches, once he had an idea he ran with it.

" And I will speak with our daughter, to ensure she is happy with the match!!" Eleanor smiled as her husband kissed her cheek and left their bedchamber in search of a servant.For the first time since Brinna had been old enough to court she thought she may actually agree. A few hours later as she settled into her bed she smiled. She had been right. When she had asked if Brinna would accept Nathaniel Howe as husband her daughter had blushed deeply then simply nodded yes. Eleanor's mother's heart had filled with joy. A love match was indeed of the Maker.


	3. Chapter 3

Arl Rendon Howe crumpled the letter in his hand angrily. So Bryce Cousland wanted to marry his daughter to Nathaniel? Not bloody likely!! It wasn't as if the bastard didn't have everything already, now he wanted to take his oldest son as well? Nathaniel wasn't strong enough to stand up to Bryce's daughter, she was much like her mother, that raider bitch! He saw how she looked at him, as if he were beneath her, as if she could see right through him, to his darkest soul. He pretended to be friends with Bryce for one reason, to get close. One day in the near future he would see that bastard upstart dead, and his wife as well. He would take back the lands that rightfully belonged to his family. He wasn't about to let some fairytale romance between his weakling son and a Cousland witch ruin his plans.....He had to do something, but how? He needed a way to make himself look good in Nathaniel's eyes while severing the ties with that girl. As he thought am idea took form, one that just might make a man out of Nathaniel. Heartbreak had a way of toughening you up.Once he made the decision he called for a servant to bring him wine, sitting before his fireplace he smiled as he drank. By this time tomorrow, if everything went the way he imagined his son would be on his way to being a real man, a true heir of Howe, and he, himself would be one step closer to being rid of the Couslands forever.

Nathaniel rubbed the braid between his fingers and smiled. Every time he closed his eyes he saw Brinna smiling shyly at him after he declared that he would marry her in a heartbeat. He saw the emotion in her eyes before she had averted her eyes, a lovely blush upon her cheeks. Everything felt different. All the time they spent together, the laughter and touches. He wanted more. He decided he would speak to his father, he wanted to ask Bryce Cousland's permission to court Brinna. It was time.He made his way to his father's study nervously. He knew what his father thought of him. That he was weak, not strong enough, not a real Howe. He didn't embrace cruelty. and he feared that was what his father expected. At his fathers curt "Enter" he made his way in and stood waiting for his father to acknowledge him. He was surprised when he actually spoke first.

"Ah Son, I was about to send for you, please sit." Nathaniel felt confusion. His father rarely called him "son" and inviting him to sit in his study? That never happened. He felt a sudden dread fill his being.His father stood by the fire for a few moments as if trying to think of how to go on, then turned, a look of sadness on his face. " I have noticed a growing attraction between you and Bryce's daughter. Am I correct? " Nathaniel, shocked, simply nodded. " Ah I was afraid of this... you see I received news shortly after we returned home that...well, I don't know how to tell you this, but it seems that the young lady has married. A young knight in training with her father, it seems they were caught in a compromising situation, in order to protect the family honor they were secretly wed." he looked at his son's face, which had drained of all color and inwardly smiled, he was winning!! " I didn't want to do this to you. I know what a heartbreak like this feels like, you see I went through this exact situation as a lad. My father did nothing to help me, and I refuse to be like that! I will not force you to stay here and watch as she flaunts her new man. I have made arrangements to send you to Ser Varley for training. I think that under the circumstances this is the best...." he waited for Nathaniel to speak.

Nathaniel's head was spinning. Brinna and Ser Gilmore? How? He knew the fellow fancied Brinna, he had seen the look in his eyes. But Brinna had not once mentioned...and caught? Caught together? Images filled his mind unbidden of Brinna laughing as Gilmore leaned towards her, of the two of them kissing..., no! He couldn't bear it..He looked up at his father, swallowing the agony that swelled in his heart. "I think that would be best father" he had no idea that his father was lying, that at this very moment Brinna sat awaiting a reply to her fathers proposal. Why would his father lie? Why indeed.


	4. Chapter 4

9:18 Dragon, Highever Castle

Bryce Cousland leaned against the balcony railing and watched his daughter fight. She moved with a deadly grace he had only seen once, in her mother. He looked up and saw Eleanor whose eyes carried the same worried expression they had for two years now. Every since the day the letter had came from Howe. He could still see Brinna's face when he told her the news, that Nathaniel was sorry, he had thought they had an understanding, they were only ever friends and he had no other feelings for her. How it would be best if she agreed to a courtship set up by her parents, and that for both of their best interests he was going away to train, far enough that she might overcome her "childish romantic fantasies".... he still felt angered, but he pushed it aside, especially now. Ferelden was in danger, darkspawn had once again surfaced and fear of a blight loomed over them all. Young King Cailan had called for soldiers, and in a few days time he would be sending Fergus, then following with Howe to Ostagar, where the King wanted to end the threat once and for all.While his blood stirred at the thought of a battle he had a strange feeling of dread. He didn't want to leave Eleanor and Brinna. They were both strong, capable women, but he knew Brinna's heart still wasn't mended. She had lost more than a beau, she had lost her best friend.

Eleanor tried to listen as her friend Landra spoke of dresses and upcoming parties but all she could think of was Brinna. She had watched her sparring that morning, and while a deep sense of pride filled her as she watched how fast and skilled her daughter was, she also felt great pain. It had taken weeks for Brinna to stop crying herself to sleep. Not only had Nathaniel turned down the offer of marriage, he had disappeared, off to train somewhere, leaving Brinna behind to wonder what she had done wrong. It was unforgivable. Yet somehow Eleanor wondered. She didn't trust Rendon Howe, and sometimes she wondered if young Nathaniel had ever been told of the marriage offer. She had her suspicions to Bryce but he had stopped her, saying that it didn't matter. The lad was gone, training with a chevalier. He could be gone for years. But she noticed that he no longer suggested matches for Brinna, and no longer spoke of her marrying. He loved his daughter, and if she never married he told her, he would love her still, and she would still rule Highever at his death.For this Eleanor loved him even more.

Brinna leaned against her closed bed chamber door. It had been a long and tiring day. She liked them that way, it helped her to sleep. The more tired she was the faster she drifted off and the less time she had to think. But tonight she wanted to think. While the day had started normally with her sparring one of her fathers soldiers, it had quickly changed. First her father had summoned her to the great hall. When she arrived she had been less than thrilled to see Arl Howe. She couldn't shake the feeling that the man hated her, and seeing him only reminded her of Nate's betrayal. But all of that was pushed aside in her mind at the arrival of Duncan, the Grey Warden.Suddenly she had something she hadn't had in a long time, hope. Duncan was here to recruit. She knew this from Ser Gilmore. But what she hadn't thought of until the young knight had mentioned it, was that she herself could be recruited. Now it was all she could think of. She undressed and crawled into bed. She would speak to Duncan as soon as her father left on the morn. If at all possible she would be a Grey Warden, and maybe then she could find some purpose.

Near dawn, the next morning  
Brinna fell to her knees in the forest outside of her home. She could still hear the screams of soldiers and servants alike. Duncan stood watch nearby, giving her a moment. He felt they were far enough away to give her a chance to breathe, to rest. She looked at her hands and realized they were covered with blood...her father's blood. She had tried in vain to press closed the wound to his abdomen, he had smiled at her efforts,even as he was dying. Her mother, who had fought at her side crouched nearby watching the door. They had told her to leave,to live...and to avenge them. Howe. She felt her very blood boil at the thought of that traitorous bastard. She would make him pay somehow. She would not cry, she must not, for she felt that once it started it would not stop. She would not cry until Rendon Howe was dead at her feet. Duncan stepped closer and she knew he was ready to move on, only too kind to rush her further. She had a sudden thought and reached out and grasped his arm with her bloodied hand. He knelt beside her, and she whispered " No one must know who I am. They all must think I died with them" she nodded towards the direction of her home. " No one"

Duncan nodded in understanding, this young woman was not only a fine rogue,skilled beyond her years with daggers and bow, she was also wise. If Howe knew she lived he would send others to finish the job. "What shall I call you then my lady?" Brinna looked once more at her bloodied hands,then towards the sky..she was silent for a moment.

After a few moments she stood and gathered the few things she had carried, her family sword, wrapped in a spare tunic. "You may call me Tristesse, or Tess for short." Duncan nodded. It was fitting.... the Orlesian word for sadness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tristesse is the French word for sadness, but whenever I think of Orlais I think France.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So sorry for the delay!! had computer issues and , well ....life

Ostagar

 

Tess stood near a fire trying desperately to warm herself, but it seemed that no matter how long she stood there she felt chilled to her core. She was exhausted. She and Duncan had traveled quickly, only stopping for short intervals to reach this place, and even when they had stopped she hadn't been able to sleep. Duncan had given her space, which she was grateful for. The best thing about the entire trip had been when her mabari had shown up, slightly bloodied and limping, but alive. At least one member of her family was here, Fang had been with her since that awful summer when Nate had left, a gift from her parents... she pushed those thoughts aside and swallowed the tears that threatened to pour forth. She would not cry, she would hold it together until Howe was dead at her feet. That was her promise to herself.

Alistair stood beside Duncan and looked at Tess suspiciously. "So....tell me again about where you found this one?" he nodded across the fire. " Honestly Duncan, she looks like a strong wind would blow her down, does she even speak?" Duncan sighed and glanced at Tess, concern flickering across his face. Alistair noticed. He had tried joking with her when they first met, but she only responded in nods or one word answers. While the others in the group, Daveth and Jory would sit and talk, wondering about the upcoming joining, she stayed to herself, the only company she kept was an absolutely huge Mabari war hound named Fang, aptly so, for the one tooth that protruded from the side of it's mouth. While Daveth whispered that she was hiding something, probably a thief or maybe she murdered her husband, Alistair felt a great sadness around her. He was curious, but so far Duncan had not revealed any clues about this woman. She kept her face mostly hidden by a cloak, and Jory thought she might be a witch...but he was afraid of his own shadow. Alistair wondered how he had even made it this far.

"Her past is her own, and if anyone should understand that it should be you" Duncans voice had that tone, the one Alistair had come to recognize as meaning "Let it go". His mentor stood and cleared his throat, signaling the others. Alistair watched as Tess pulled her cloak forward even more and stood beside them. " I am sending you into the wilds. There I will need you to retrieve three vials of darkspawn blood. Once you have done this I need you to locate and retrieve some scrolls, left behind in a tower once held by the Wardens in this area. Alistair will be accompanying you in these tasks. Any questions?" Jory was already muttering about witches,Daveth smirked as he fingered his bow, and Tess simply nodded under her hood. "Very well, be careful and Maker watch over you"


End file.
